Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
