turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
