a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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