my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
How does one acquire holy water?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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