They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
