at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
