Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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