I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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