i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So many bounce houses so little time
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
