I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
