Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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