I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Only a mothe r could love this liver
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
im having a threesome with these popsicles
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
