im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
