You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
