i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
