Say something about gay babies.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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