Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
