we're chasing vodka with high fives
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
