Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
