what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
