i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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