she was so not down for the gang bang
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
