Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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