I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
