So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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