i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
