and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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