I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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