all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
