We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
3pm strippers are depressing
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
