You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
