Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
