he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
