please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
