There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
