I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Come share oat with me in your robe
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
