OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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