i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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