Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Its about making memories worth repressing
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
