we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
