I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The adults are the big ones right?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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