Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
It's just like the Real World with babies
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
