What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
