Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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