There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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