Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
