Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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