Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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