Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
