Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
