He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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